Britain has filed fordivorce, in one of the most high profile breakups in history. But it was far from a conscious uncoupling. It was the equivalent of an angry little man slapping down some papers, citing irreconcilable differences and letting in too many houseguests. Quite possibly featuring a contorted tale of Germany hooking up with France when she should have been at the gym. Obviously there had been a strain in their relationship for years. Britain was demanding, unrelenting and unwilling to let a woman wear the trousers. But despite his disgustingly large ego, the EU had continued to put up with Britain’s crap because he had money, influence and she didn’t want to break up the life they had built together. Being back on the market after forty three years is never easy.Except that’s not how the narrative goes. Convinced that life will be much improved without the nagging and strain on his credit card, Britain left stability and security to pursue a life of independence (or maybe even a sexy trade deal with Brazil...). But it didn't quite work out like that. Divorce is tricky. Britain’s status is less single and ready to mingle and more it’s (really fucking) complicated. Desperate and alone, Britain has the potential to drunk dial the U.S. and swipe right on Russia. Eek.We can safely say Britain is a mess, but what of the children?Well as much as I am ashamed to admit it, I am a child of broken Britain. Like many of my fellow vote-Remain-ers, I plunged into what theKübler-Ross Model describes as the five stages of grief:

I suppose I should have known there was a possibility we were going to lose when a woman rocked up in union jack trousers, kissed her ballot paper as she triumphantly posted it in the ballot box and whispered “fuck the French.” And maybe I should have been tipped off by the mass refusal to use pencils due to aconspiracy theory which emerged on Twitter. It’s just, I had done my research. It seemed nonsensical to me that anyone would actually vote leave. I thought a minority would get seduced by the comedy of Boris Johnson and obviously the racists would follow Farage, but leaving the EU would have (uncertain and predictably terrible) global consequences. The idea for the EU emerged from WWII, stemming from a desire to stop ripping the continent apart. From there it became an economic union of twenty eight countries whose citizens can trade and move freely across its borders. As John Oliver so eloquently put in his Brexitvideo: Britain would be insane to leave because we can “reap all the benefits, whilst still being a total dick about it. That is the British way.” Turns out I was young, dumb, tirelessly liberal and panic googling what is and isn’t legally binding.

It was hard not to be angry. Everyone I encountered was pissed. On June 24, all my social media feeds blew up with expletives and dusty sarcasm. It quickly emerged we weren’t going to see a fall in immigration levels, we weren’t going to have extra millions to give the NHS, we weren’t going to be able to stay in the single market and we certainly weren’t going to get our sovereignty back. Vote Leave was a sham. These charts summed it up in the most frustrating way possible:

But it is more than millennial angst. My peers and I made a strategic decision that simply wasn’t enough. The result felt like betrayal. Every time a Brexiter (who was clearly over 65 and usually hobbling) preached about how they needed to think about their futures, I wanted to wail “it’s MY future you have fucked up” and stab them in their wrinkly necks with a corrupt pencil. When a pleb on the radio said “we’ve got our country back,” I (mostly internally) screamed “where do you think it went?” Into the longest period of Anglo-peace with Europe in history? Into economic prosperity due to cushy trade deals? Into cheap holidays and visa free travel?It seemed so unjust that a generation given free education, golden pensions and social mobility had the right to go against the people who were going to have to live with the decision and ultimately fix the mess they had left for funsies.FUCK BEING BRITISH.

Already prone to bouts of existential dread because I'm twenty one, single, and intensely introverted, my optimism floundered. The reality wasn’t just the plummeting pound or the economic ramifications, Britain had told Europe to piss off and they were understandably not very happy. Our fate lies with the countries we purposely alienated. Perhaps the EU will make an example out of Britain to deter others from exiting. Perhaps they will be justified. It was embarrassing. I’m supposed to be a ‘global citizen’ and my people were being total dicks. The referendum turned into a race no side deserved to win. Labour MP Jo Cox, a wife and a mother, was murdered. The fight was dirty. Campaigners deliberately scared voters. Promises were made. Entire slogans were lies.I didn't want to go outside but I needed to go to the Post Office. There I saw a woman standing, staring blankly at the envelope section, mumbling “what do we do now?” To which a man said “we just have to live.” To which I thought that’s encouraging coming from a man purchasing five rolls of duct tape.I internally wept as my insides became a slip-and-slide of doom and plans for the uprising of Scot-don.

“Will you marry me?” I pathetically asked an American in a bid to rid myself of my tainted passport. But then just as I remembered Trump, guns and processed cheese, this theory began to circulate. A man had written in the comments section of The Guardian that Brexit was impossible. That David Cameron had “effectively annulled the referendum result” by abandoning his position as Prime Minister and thus not triggering Article 50 (the official big red button) straight away. This (seemingly trustworthy) dude might have restored half of a nation by writing “the referendum result is not binding. It is advisory.” The new Prime Minister will have to enact Article 50 and if they do Scotland will most likely leave the “United” Kingdom, Ireland might rejoin and a recession would defo be on the cards. Who would do that? Then a petition for a second referendum came out. I signed it (along with four million others). Had I overreacted? Had I said “fuck” far too many times in one morning to call reasonable?

Analysing the results, separate from the rollercoaster of emotions, Britain and its citizens had to accept what we had done. It’s not all cups of tea, queuing, and a man travelling around space in a blue box, when you are fucking with the global economy. Atweeter summed up the twisted irony by writing “...and in the end, Britain, which had colonized the world, destroyed itself in fantasies that it was being colonized in turn.”I don’t know why I was surprised. As the writer of “How did Britain get so messed up?” put it, “the concerns of dispossessed working class Britons, old-fashioned conservatives, the elderly and isolationists seem to have driven the Brexit vote.” The vote was split in age, education, class and geography. I wish Britain didn't have to do something so extreme to realise it, but there is something fundamentally wrong with our society. Our political system needs to be reformed. Brexit represents an inevitable disaster: one that was based on innate xenophobia, colonial superiority and a complete societal disconnect. As much as I would love to, we can’t (entirely) blame a douchebag ex-Mayor of London, Michael-effing-Gove or a racist UKIP leader who resigned to “get [his] life back.” All we can do is try to rebuild and move on. For ideas on this I urge you watch thisTED talk.So the current state of the UK is this:

We now have an unelected Prime Minster, Theresa May, who basically got the job because everyone else resigned. She vowed that the UK will indeed be leaving the EU.

So even if the Article 50 conspiracy was true, it looks like she will be pushing that big red button. But David Cameron deserves no slack. He is and will remain the utter arsewipe that initiated the referendum in the first place.

May appointed Boris Johnson as foreign secretary (!!!).

The Conservative party continues to be in the midst of a civil war.

The Labour party is slowly disappearing because the shadow cabinet keep resigning and the deputy leader went to a silent disco at Glastonbury (not joking).

People are concerned for only for one resident of Downing Street - Larry the Cat.

This video emerged revealing Vote Leave literally no contingency plan.

It seems the only people with an actual plan are the Scottish, who want to get the fuck out.

Britain has become a meme.

If that isn't embarrassing enough, The New Yorker posted an article entitled “British lose right to claim that Americans are dumber.” Turns out not everything sounds better in an English accent. Keep it that way #voteHillary. So to the people who are on the fringe of a wally with bleach blonde hair ruining their country, don’t let America follow in Britain’s footsteps. A joke can become a reality when people are frustrated and scared.To the people who are facing the aftermath of a wally with bleach blonde hair ruin their country, seriously watch this video. I promise it will make you feel a little less pathetically British.And to everyone else, I’m sorry. There was love there once and I think we can find it again. Europe, can we make this work? For the children. This article was written by Stephanie Bailey. Please send an email to [email protected] to get in touch. Photo Credit: Stephanie Bailey