Am I black? White neighbors, white strangers, White school, white friends, White life. My birth city as unfamiliar to me As a man is to his future. Being flung from one end To the other appeared Daunting and bleak, A culture shock From my own culture.

What is black? How can you define an entire race With just one word? A glance in a dictionary shows a host of negative meanings. Without light Gloomy Depressing Deserving or of indicating censure or dishonor Marked by disaster Evil Wicked.

Is this what I am? Is this what I should be? Is this what makes one black? Or Is it something else?

Is it the way you look? I have yet to see someone The shade of my hair. Is it the way you talk, the way you think the way you feel the way you love the way you hate the way you make a living? Is it something else? Laugh? Learn? Live? Die? Is it how long it takes to respond when that one cute guy in math class asks for a pencil, but you only have one left, which is actually someone else's pencil that you borrowed last week but you can't remember who it was so you decide to give it to him, already getting excited about when he'll have to turn around again to get it back at the end of class? Is this what makes you black?

Is being black a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Can I pick and choose what parts I want to be, Or is it only everything or nothing?

Is being black a choice, or an inevitable nature? Can I choose what color I am?

If I could choose, I would be red, The color of love and romance, Of anger and hate, Always conflicting with each other, Always trying to find balance or create utter chaos with each other.

Or maybe I would be blue, The color of water, who's Always changing and adapting to Its surroundings, yet sometimes Clashing and raging war with other And itself, For unknown and irrational reasons. Or maybe, maybe… I can be a color wheel.

Am I black? Maybe my black does not make me, but I make my own black, one that I can love For being the only thing It needs to be. Me.

This poem was written by Royale Efae Nicholson. Send an email to [email protected] to get in touch.