Oscar Winners (Because the Academy Sucks and We All Know it)
Sitting on her front porch, she rocks high on her opinions with a bittersweet smile. To most, she’d be a presentable old woman. But let’s be honest for a moment: She’s tired, she’s old, she’s self-righteously opinionated; she’s the Academy Awards and her opinions suck more than hard candies. Maybe it’s because the cataracts have reduced her ability to actually WATCH the movies she calls into judgement, but now the winners have become so predictable that the awards could be given out on a mere plot summary. Nevertheless, here’s what she’s said this year (and a brief description of who actually deserved it and who was overrated from the beginning):
Best Picture:
Won: After ignoring the “black cinema” triumphs of “Fruitvale Station” and “Lee Daniels’ The Butler,” the Academy owed recognition to the bio-epic “12 Years a Slave.” More so, however, “12 Years a Slave” was simply the best film nominated this year. With a haunting story line and breathtaking performances, it is a movie that remained on people’s minds, and thus on their ballots.
Should Have Won: Though “12 Years a Slave” is an undeniable triumph in cinema deserving of its win, its notability speaks for itself. It does not need an Academy Award to attract people to see it. For this reason, I would say that “Her” or “Nebraska” SHOULD have won, since both are well designed compelling stories, which are initially hard to sell to a common consumer.
Shouldn’t Have Been Nominated: With an all-star cast and director, the movie “American Hustle” was film fodder built for the Academy. But with a confused plot line and a lackluster script, “American Hustle” hardly deserved a nomination.
Best Actor
Christian Bale (American Hustle)
Bruce Dern (Nebraska)
Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave)
Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)
Won: Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)- Giving the performance of his life time, Matthew McConaughey deserved to win for his depiction of initially homophobic, hustler Ron Woodroof. It is also well known that The Academy has a well pronounced love affair for men who undergo physical transformations for a role (though the same can’t always be true for females).
Should Have Won: After repeated snubs for his breathtaking performances, Leonardo DiCaprio has long been deserving of a win (and let’s be honest- how are we supposed to handle another round of “sad” Leo memes circulating the internet?)
Shouldn’t Have Been Nominated: While Christian Bale is an amazing actor and did the best he could with what he was given, he is hardly deserving of a nomination for his performance in “American Hustle.” The script just didn’t fit his talents. It didn’t show his depth.
Best Actress
Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
Sandra Bullock (Gravity)
Judi Dench (Philomena)
Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)
Won: Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine); For her depiction of coming unhinged in Blue Jasmine, Cate Blanchett managed to give a memorable performance as a strong female lead. Her character’s struggle with mental illness made this movie likely Academy Fodder, but that is not to say that she doesn’t deserve the recognition.
Should Have Won: As it has been clear this whole award season, no one was going to beat Cate Blanchett this year. Her performance was just too good. But can’t we all just agree that we love Meryl Streep and we secretly wish that she wins everything?
Shouldn’t Have Been Nominated: While Cate Blanchett was the front-runner from the start, it is hard to say that any of these actresses didn’t deserve a nomination. The actresses all gave great performances that, in other years, would be more than deserving of an award.
Best Director
American Hustle (David O. Russell)
Gravity (Alfonso Cuarón)
Nebraska (Alexander Payne)
12 Years a Slave (Steve McQueen)
The Wolf of Wall Street (Martin Scorsese)
Won: Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity); While “Gravity” has the potential to grow boring at times, no one but Alfonso Cuaron could have done the movie better. His direction made a movie largely about internal struggle compelling enough to capture audiences.
Should Have Won: Alexander Payne (Nebraska); For making risky decisions like shooting in black and white, Alexander Payne changed the perception of what a modern film could be. Unlike “The Artist” which was focused on the “talkies” and “black and white” genre and thus wholly belonged in black and white, “Nebraska” could have been filmed in color, but artistically is better without. It is a risk in direction that pays off in a compelling way.
Shouldn’t Have Been Nominated: David O. Russell (American Hustle); With an All-star cast, and all-star budget, “American Hustle” had great potential. It was the lack of coherent direction that made this movie largely fail. This apparent failure can be seen by the lack of wins at the Academy Awards.
Best Supporting Actor
Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips)
Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)
Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave)
Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Won: Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club); By depicting a Transexual woman, Jared Leto took the risk of his career. These types of roles are judged rather harshly by critics and audiences, so, when it is done correctly, as it was in “Dalls Buyers Club,” the Academy is more than happy to recognize these types of performances.
Should Have Won: Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips); While his performance wasn’t the best of the year, he definitely had the best story. Coming from being a poor limo driver, to becoming a Hollywood heavy hitter overnight, Barkhad Adbi had a by far the greatest story, and in some way the most to gain with a win.
Shouldn’t Have Been Nominated: Bradley Cooper (American Hustle); like Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper couldn’t perform to his potential in “American Hustles” convoluted plot line. He didn’t have the character twitches, like his female counterparts, Jennifer Lawrence and Amy Adams, to make him memorable.
Best Supporting Actress
Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)
Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
Lupita Nyong'o (12 Years a Slave)
Julia Roberts (August: Osage County)
June Squibb (Nebraska)
Won: Lupita Nyong’o (12 Years a Slave); Her depiction of the character Patsy in “12 Years a Slave” was enough to bring audiences cry. It was a mastered performance for a seasoned professional, so the fact that Lupita Nyong’o was able to give this type of performance in what is considered to be her first real acting job, is astounding, surprising, and needed to be recognized.
Should Have Won: Lupita Nyong’o, as a newcomer to the Acting Community, to give such a great performance deserves to be praised. No one else deserved it more than Lupita.
Shouldn’t Have Been Nominated: This was perhaps one of the strongest years in Female performances seen by the Academy. As with the Best Actress Category, it is hard to say that any of these amazing performances didn’t deserve to be recognized.
This article was written by Tyler Rhorick. Send an email to [email protected] to get in touch. Correction: A previous version of this article misspelt Lupita Nyong'O as Lupita Lyong'o. Apologies on our behalf.Art Credit: Naomi Losman