Disclaimer: This article covers sexual content – reader discretion is advised.

How to Balance Homework with the Constant Need to Beat My Meat

I. You again? You might be wondering what I am smoking as I write these articles. Well, that’s not actually any of your business, but I will tell you this: every other week, instead of answering the big questions, I will give you the small things. Just a little sexual food for thought—passionfruit, anyone? II. Beat my meat? What are you saying? Masturbate. I mean masturbate. The first time I masturbated... just kidding, not going there today. Sorry folks, for stories like that I ask that you buy me a drink first. What I will tell you, sober and free of charge, is why you should consider masturbating more, or maybe less. Are there benefits to masturbating, other than the secret pleasure of upsetting my roommate? Yes, actually. The act of masturbating relieves sexual tension and stress. Beyond general stress relief, it also relieves you of the stress of STIs or potential unwanted pregnancy—the risks are basically zero. I won’t guarantee zero because you could be doing something wrong/weird/unique, but it is certainly an act of sexual pleasure more in your health’s favor. Along with your mental and physical health, your emotional well-being may even improve, as masturbation is a great way to get in touch with your own body (literally and figuratively, haha). Much more common in my vagina-hosting peers is the experience of sexual frustration, even when sexual acts are happening frequently, because something about the act(s) isn’t as enjoyable as we may want it to be. Being able to make yourself orgasm may make it easier to communicate what you want your partner(s) to do. In fact, you can have the best of both worlds, if you want and feel comfortable about it, and masturbate with your partner(s). Mutual masturbation carries the same safety benefits I mentioned above, assuming that your bodily fluids don’t end up on someone else and vice versa. So what’s the risk? Like I said, maybe you’re doing something different, or even wrong. Physical risks can include abrasions/bruises and infection risk. Before you go at it, you should make sure to do whatever hygiene preparation is appropriate, such as washing your hands, cutting your fingernails, and if you are using objects, making sure they are clean. In the case of many sex toys, you can opt to use a condom on a toy, further lowering infection risk. Also, using lube and not going too hard on yourself can lower self-damage risks—at the end of the day, listen to the messages you are receiving from your body. If something hurts or feels wrong, stop and assess what it could be. Also, be wary of certain risks that different objects pose. For instance, in the case of anal sex, don’t insert anything without a proper lubricant base. You don’t want to end up explaining that situation to your RA when you need a cab buddy to the hospital (of course, don’t ever be afraid to reach out to school resources, but losing your writing utensils that way is entirely avoidable). Finally, the dangers of time over-consumption with any habit in college can be scary, but a masturbating issue can be straight-up uncomfortable. Sleep deprivation/stress relief as a reason to jerk it is fine every now and again, but be careful not to develop a dependency. You may end up with even more stress, as a situation may arise where there is no convenient way to get off. If you are stuck and feel as though there is no better way to handle your current stress or sleep situation, talk to Health and Wellness, and start to think of possible reasons these issues exist. Treating the problem as opposed to just the symptom is generally a wise choice, and there is no shame in not being able to do that on your own. This article was written by Sexy Shanghai'er. Send an email to [email protected] to get in touch. Photo Credit: Fukagawa @ Flickr (Background)